Squirrel Storage

SCENE 1

EXT MORNING  employment office window, a young woman called EMMA BRENNER browsing the jobs in the window, looks closely at a job saying “Storage facility maintenance, 10 pm – 6 am, £15 pound an hour, must have strong mental constitution” she smiles and walks indoors and takes the card out of the window.

SCENE 2

INT MORNING inside the employment office, EMMA walks to an office where a fussy looking man sat at an old office desk is looking nervous. EMMA stands at the table

EMMA

Hi I was told to talk to you about the storage job?

ADVISOR

What?! You want that job?

EMMA

Urmh, Yes?

ADVISOR

Well I suppose you’d better sit down then

EMMA pauses, looking at the office chair warily, but then sits down

EMMA

Long day?

ADVISOR

Yes! What’s that got to do with it?  Pause I’m sorry I’m a little stressed, it’s just this job.

EMMA

I thought working here you’d be able to find a better job!

ADVISOR

What? No no, this job is fine; I’m talking about the one your applying for

EMMA

Really? What’s wrong with it?

The ADVISOR takes a deep breath to speak then pauses, and starts to shake his head smiling, while his eyebrow twitches

ADVISOR

Nothing! Nothing, it just has a high drop out rate, that’s all, lots of people can’t take working nights. I know I can’t! Repeats under his breath I know I can’t....

EMMA

Well, ok, it seems like a good job...

ADVISOR

Yes! It is, easy work, all you do is watch a storage facility, nothing expensive there, and you can just read the paper!

EMMA

Are you sure it doesn’t require anything else?

ADVISOR

No no.... pause no it’s fine. When can you start?

EMMA

Don’t you want to know my qualifications?

 The ADVISOR pauses again and nods slowly, he is sweating

ADVISOR

Yes! Yes I do, what qualifications do you have?

EMMA

Well I have a B in socio-

The ADIVSOR cuts her off

ADVISOR

Good enough! Can you start you start tonight?

EMMA

Well I suppose I can

ADVISOR

Good! I hope you... I hope you do well!

ADVISOR hands her a leaflet of information and walks away hurriedly

SCENE 3

EXT 10PM an elderly looking man called MIKE is standing outside a large warehouse with large doors big enough for an aeroplane to fit through. On the front of the building in large blue letters it says SQUIRREL STORAGE with a blue logo of a squirrel. MIKE is wearing a uniform; leaning on a cane and is standing next to an opening in the large doors just big enough for a person to fit through. EMMA walks towards him

MIKE

‘Ello! You must be the girl sent by the job offie!

EMMA

Yes! Hello I’m Emma, I’m sorry but I wasn’t told much at the job office.

MIKE

Well it’s easy, you just make sure nothing interrupts the computers; the squirrels stay in sleep mode and call the numbers on the list in case anyone tries to break in.

EMMA

I’m sorry but what? Squirrels?

MIKE

Doesn’t the title really give you a clue? Squirrel storage, this is where we store the nation’s squirrel supply

EMMA

Erm, this may seem like a stupid question, but why?

MIKE

Exasperatedly I don’t have much time to explain this, but when grey squirrels came into Britain, they out-bred and killed off all the red squirrels, and then very quickly, killed themselves off too. They’re thick see?

EMMA

Erm...

MIKE

Squirrels are vital to the environment of the world, not just Britain, it’s very simple, and anyone could understand it. I don’t, but I’m sure you could.

EMMA

But?!

MIKE

Just watch them! It’s easy I’ve been doing it for ten years and look at me! I’m fine!

EMMA

Hesitantly Alright... I’ll give it a try PAUSE  I’m not wearing a uniform; I guess I’ll get it at sometime right?

MIKE

Don’t worry about it, you’ll be the only one here anyway, no one will notice!

EMMA

Oh, WAIT! What?!

MIKE

My shift’s over luv! I’m off to town to get blitzed, I’ll be thirty soon, can’t do all nighters long after that!

MIKE steps away with his cane

EMMA

Wait! What do I do if something goes wrong?

MIKE  turns to EMMA

MIKE

Just call the number on the side and follow the instructions they give you!

MIKE leaves EMMA by herself and she hesitantly walks inside.

SCENE 4

EMMA  walks inside the cavernous storage room and she is confront with row after thousands of rows of squirrels hanging upside down on hooks by their tales, all rigid and in the same position, to her right is a set of metal stairs that lead up to a square observatory office with chairs, monitors, computer screens, a newspaper and a tea and coffee machine. EMMA walks up the stairs and slowly sits

EMMA

Well this could be interesting...

Title on the screen TEN MINUTES LATER

EMMA

Boring... boring..... bored

EMMA puts her feet up on the edge of the console, and promptly knocks over a cold cup of tea onto and she gives and shrill gasp of fright, she stands and starts to mop up the tea with the bottom of her shirt when she notices to red dots of light coming from the warehouse, then four, then 6 then 10 and so on until she is confronted with thousands of red little dots of red light which dim and turn out to be the eyes of thousands of squirrels looking at her.

EMMA

Very quietly Fuck...

The squirrels pour out of the warehouse in one mass movement, in less than half a minute the entire place is devoid of squirrels. EMMA turns to the list and slowly picks of the phone

EMMA

Umh, Hi, All the squirrels got out?