Genesis

1 EXT. UNDERNEATH A BRIDGE OVER A CANAL. NIGHT 0300                1

An albino woman’s naked body washes up against the embankment, she is face first in the water, and a woman unseen sees the body and screams.

2 EXT. UNDERNEATH A BRIDGE OVER A CANAL. NIGHT 0430                2

The Albino woman is now covered with a white sheet and the scene is illuminated with blue and white flashing lights, there is a number of police milling around the area in white hazardous material suits picking up all kinds of forensic evidence inside a cordon-off the area with police tape. Outside the area, HARRY BANTER, a short balding man with a moustache is rubbing his chin, looking upset and clearly in deep thought. A friendly voice knocks him out of his deep thoughts.

SUZANNE

Harry! What’s the score here? What was so important that I had to be prised out of bed?

SUZANNE SHIERS is a small dark haired woman who walks with more power and confidence than is expected for her size. She looks young compared to her partner.

HARRY looks to his partner with an ashen face, takes a deep breath.

HARRY

This woman was found an hour and a half ago by a local. There’s no clothes or items in the area, it seems she was dumped here not long ago because she’s recently dead… and I’d say she was dumped not too long before she was found… We’ve got no idea who she is…

SUZANNE sighs irritably, ignorant of her partner’s obvious worry.

SUZANNE

Well get her finger prints to the lab and...

HARRY cuts her off.

HARRY

There are none.

SUZANNE

What?! No one took any yet? Christ do I have to do

HARRY cuts her off again

HARRY

There ARE none… she doesn’t have fingerprints.

SUZANNE looks confused

SUZANNE

What? You mean they were scrubbed off or burnt off. What about her teeth or DNA?

HARRY paces up and down, anxiety getting the grip of him

HARRY

No Suzy…She HAS no fingerprints, her fingers are fine but for… for some damn reason she just doesn’t have any! Her teeth are like children’s milk teeth and her blood sample….Well; I’d hesitate to even call it blood…

SUZANNE mouth drops open slightly, a number of forensics are now looking over at the attention drawn by HARRY’S outburst.

HARRY

Her blood was clear…like water… I’ve never seen anything like this… If she’s human I wouldn’t like to say, there is a blunt trauma against her head so it’s defiantly murder… but whether it’s murder of a person or… or a thing I don’t know.

SUZANNE walks over to the body, ducking up the police tape and pulls the sheet off the body, the pale white eyes stare into nothing.

SUZANNE

My god, what have we found?

SUZANNE takes a deep breath and covers the body again, then turns to all the assembled force.

SUZANNE

Right everyone! I want every flat with a view of this area and the surrounding streets knocked on, if people have seen anything, and I mean anything! If a blind man heard a mouse sneeze I want to know, and I want to know it yesterday!

The assembled police spur into a faster gear of action as someone properly takes charge.

TITLE SEQUENCE.

3 INT. FORENSICS LAB MORNING 0730     3

JOHNATHEN IRAZ stands taller than most of his peers and his white lab coat doesn’t fit him that well while he works on the albino woman’s body, is scraping out the fingernails for dirt and HARRY and SUZANNE walk into the room. The room is brightly lit with halogen bulbs in some areas and others darker, as the two approach the operating table, HARRY is the first to speak up.

HARRY

Found anything yet Johnny?

JOHNATHON

Well, you were right; this certainly is an odd case. (BEAT) The body, despite looking like a twenty-year-old woman, is in pristine condition.

SUZANNE butts in

SUZANNE

What’s wrong with that?

JOHNATHON grins darkly

JOHNATHON

If I were to cut you open right now, we could guess you age by the deterioration in your organs because, as the old cliché goes, once you’re born your start dying.

SUZANNE blushes slightly, her authority in this situation taken away from her. HARRY smiles at this.

SUZANNE

I see, Carry on…

JOHNATHON

All of this woman’s organs look like they’ve never even been used; if I were a little more macabre (BEAT, IN WHICH JOHNATHON SMILES DARKLY FOR A BRIEF MOMENT) I would say that she’d be worth millions on the black market. You don’t get adult organs in this condition.

The three look at each other, mulling this over, then HARRY turns to JOHNATHON

HARRY

So what are you saying Johnny? That we’ve got a dead woman in her twenties who never used her organs?

JOHNATHON

No, I’m saying you’ve got a woman who looks like she’s in her twenties, who was probably never alive. This isn’t the only interesting thing, I pumped her stomach and found…

JOHNATHON turns his back to HARRY and SUZANNE to show them a jar full of clear liquids.

JOHNATHON

Aside from the occasional seepage of canal water into her system, her stomach was mainly full of formaldehyde…

HARRY frowns, taking the jar and looking at it

HARRY

What, like that nutter who puts animals into big glass cases? (BEAT) Is he a suspect now?

SUZANNE

Hirst, he’s called Damien Hirst and if so, he’s taken a bizarre new twist in art.

JOHNATHON

I don’t think he’ll be winning the Turner prize for this any time soon.

4. EXT. ALLEY WAY BETWEEN FLATS, AFTERNOON.                                             4

HARRY and SUZANNE walk down the alley, Approaching a VAGRANT who is sat on the floor next to a uniformed police officer who is standing

SUZANNE

You’ve claimed that you saw someone carrying a large bag in the middle of the night, Correct?

The VAGRANT gives them a toothless grin

VAGRANT

Mighta’ done…

SUZANNE sighs irritably and drops a five pound note into the man’s lap

SUZANNE

That’s all you’ll get if what you don’t tell me something worthwhile

VAGRANT

Well, it were sometime of the night… I dunno what time cuz I was getting pissed, but I saw a small looking bloke… ‘E was ‘avin an ‘ard time lifting this bag as well, but you see some funny things at this time of night… never thought much of it.

The VAGRANT looks at Suzanne expectantly, yet she just looks back. The VAGRANT frowns briefly, the pipes up.

VAGRANT

Oh and it were a Chinese Feller too! I think… can’t be too sure these days.

SUZANNE nods to the man and drops a twenty pound note into his lap, then turns to HARRY

SUZANNE

Now we have something to work too, put out a search in the local area for men of East Asian descent, it’s not much, but it’s something to start on.

Escape From Malvagia

Her eyes were closed as the sudden sensation often attributed to going over a hill awoke her from her sleep, this transformation into the world of the wide awake and living was fully complete by the powerful sensation of her jaw smacking off the cold tile flaw and her teeth snapping against each other.

Her eyes struggled to focus in the harsh bright light as people stumbled and tripped over her forlorn body.

Kim reached out to across the floor and dragged herself away from the cacophony of flying kicks and finally managed to adjust herself against the cold tile wall, far away from the interest of any other.

She groaned and rubbed her jaw while it throbbed painfully, she could feel miniscule chips of teeth in her mouth. Kim spat out the nuisance in her mouth along with a mixture of blood and saliva, making a stark contrast against the greying tile floor.

She stood by pushing herself against the tile wall and looked to the steel grey tram that apparently dropped her off, the last couple of passenger’s footsteps could be heard echoing down the station.

The attendants in their royal red and glamorous suits stood at each door of the tram, Kim walked closer until she could swear that she could hear the strain on the suits around their grossly fat pot-bellies.

“ ’Scuse me…. Can you tell me where I am?”

The red-faced attendant closest to hear barked his response, his beady eyes glaring at her from his behind his puffed up cheeks

“Malvagia ma’am!”

His response seemed to make him sweat, but it could have simply been the searing hot heat that was becoming apparent to her dazed sense.

“When’s the next train to Brooklyn?” Kim inquired, pulling up her greying jeans that were almost slipping off her hips.

“End of the line ma’am! Last train!”

“Well Fuck.” Kim thought, she pressed her tongue against her now faintly jagged teeth, feeling the blood run down her tongue, a headache was building against her eyes just to add to her annoyance.

She looked to the stairs and staggered up slowly, her hand gripping the rail for dear-life. When Kim reached the top of the stairs she looked around, not seeing a car all around the crowded street, an icy cold miasma was in the air, which while pressing on her face, she still felt intolerably hot. Neither of these sensations did anything to comfort against the other.

“Yo! Taxi?” she called out to the general population, but as if she didn’t even exist, not a soul bothered to look up.

She forced her way through the crowd, people bumping into from all directions, trying to avoid the not-so “stray” hand accidentally brushing her indecently.

Kim’s brain felt like it was trying to burst it’s way out of her skull; she swallowed the blood filling up in her mouth again. It seemed like a good idea to get some place to stay for the night, so reached out and grabbed a short man with a mouse-ish composure

“Hey buddy, where can I get a bed for the night?” she asked.

The man looked up slowly, his milk-bottle thick glasses making him seem like a human owl

“Mmhmm… Yes? Well I can see that…. I think books’ lets bums like you stay, now get your filthy hand off me!”

The small man wrenched himself easily out of her grip and hurried along his way

“Books huh?.. I’m guessing he don’t mean a Starbucks…” she thought.

Kim started to wander the street, trying to find whatever place in this weird town that looked like it might contain books but every other shop she came across was a hideously lit porn, booze or worse. The dark cynic in the back of her mind smirked and said, “it’s like they built a city out of a red light district”.

She sighed and rested against a busted street lamp, the light orange glow of the light was flickering on and off, making it difficult to retrieve the packet of cigarettes stuck crumpled in her pocket.

She pulled out the worryingly light packet; she frowned and closed her eyes. Kim offered a silent prayer that there would be one last precious cigarette left in the packet.

She flicked it open with her thumb and was momentarily elated to find a cig looking towards her. She eagerly pulled it out and put the other end to her lips, only to get loose tobacco falling into her mouth.

Cringing, she looked into the packet to see a pitiful filter lying in the dark pit of the packet.

“Fuck!” she screamed at the top of her lungs at the now oddly empty city street.

“Why the fuck does this goddamned shit always fucking happen to me!” She looked up at the sky and screamed “You cuntastic whore! Give me a fucking cigarette!” At which point the flickering light above her head burst out with a flash, enveloping her in darkness.

She took another deep breath to sigh, the anger rising in her chest but a feeling of cold darkness started to creep over her, the hairs on the back of her neck raised and her breath iced up in the air.

Divine Message

A SUNNY ROAD BY A RIVER IN A QUIET SLEEPY COUNTRY VILLAGE. A LAZY SUMMER AFTERNOON, THE SOUND OF TRICKLING WATER CAN BE HEARD.  A SANDBAG WITH THE WORD “Hello” WRITTEN IN BLACK DROPS ONTO CENTRE STAGE. AFTER 40 SECONDS,  Fred WALKS ON FROM TOP RIGHT AND INSPECTS THE BAG FOR ONE MINUTE. BOB WALKS ON FROM TOP LEFT

BOB                What’s that you have there Fred?

FRED              I dunno Bob, it’s just a bag filled with sand.

BOB                Then… why are you so interested in it yeh silly beggar?

FRED              Well that’s just the thing ain’t it Bob? It just fell out of the sky and I 'aven’t got a clue where from…

BOB                (Jokingly) Could be Aliens?

BOTH MEN PAUSE THEN LOOK UP AFTER 10 SECONDS

BOTH             Nah…

FRED              Well, as I said, it just dropped out of the sky and… ‘Ere! Bob come look ‘ave a gander at this

FRED KNEELS DOWN NEXT TO THE BAG AND POINTS TO THE “Hello” ON

IT

FRED              It says ‘Ello! That means someone meant it to be read!

BOB                Are you telling me that there’s some daft bugger up there writing greetin’s on sand bags and chuckin’ ‘em out of plane windows?

FRED STANDS

FRED              Well… What do you reckon it is then? And if you say aliens I’ll give yer a clip round the ear ‘ole!

BOB MUSES OVER THIS FOR A MOMENT

BOB                I reckon it’s the CIA

FRED              (Angrily) That’s yer answer it everythin’ yer daft sod! Always bloody Government or Aliens or JF Bloody K!

BOB NODS SAGELY

BOB                The truth is out there my friend…, and its people like you keeping us enlightened ones in the dark!

FRED              Lord give me strength...

FRED PAUSES AS IF JUST DAWNING ON SOMETHING

FRED              Ere! Maybe that’s it?

BOB                What’s it?

FRED              No thanks I’ve already eaten

BOB                (Frustrated) I MEAN what is it? What fantastic conclusion have you reached? Not a savoury snack!

FRED              Well maybe it’s from Him?

BOB                Who?!

FRED              The Lord! Maybe it’s a message from god!

BOB                Oh bloody hell

FRED              Don’t start blaspheming in his presence!

BOB                First thing chum! God is omnipresent, therefore no matter where I am, I would always be in his presence, If he exists…

FRED STARTS TOWARDS BOB ANGRILY, BOB HOLDS UP HIS HANDS

BOB                Secondly, if it IS from god, then why the bloody he... (PAUSES) why on earth is he sending brief greetings on sand bags from the sky? Surely it’d be some bloke on a hill with big robes, a big beard and saying stuff like “Thou shalt” and “Behold” and whatnot?

FRED              Ah (TAPS HIS NOSE) God’s way is mysterious, maybe it’s not a major prophecy, but just a gentle reminder he’s out there? Just a slight nudge saying. “Hey Fred! It’ll be alright, I’m watching out for you”

BOB                Wouldn’t be nice for a bloke if that bloomin’ sandbag landed on his ‘ead… that thing’d take it clean off…

FRED              That’s not really the point is it? Is it so hard that god sent us a nice friendly hello? I mean, you may think it’s implausible, but that’s the reason I think it’s possible!

BOB                Now you just sound like a prat.

FRED              Why cant you just open your mind to the possibilities?! Is it so hard that a being more powerful than you can exist and control every aspect of your meaningless life?!

BOB                (PAUSES) … No.

FRED              Why? You may like the idea that life is meaningless, but I think you should try to enjoy to the life you have been given by god and all it’s wonderful riches!

BOB                Well I agree with the latter part to that. I enjoy all the riches of this life… Well all the legal ones… but why does god have to come in and tell me that the things I enjoy are sins?

FRED              That’s just the way it is! But sins are forgiven! I’ve asked you before but why cant you accept the love of god?!

BOB STAMPS OVER TO THE BAG AND PICKS IT UP

BOB                I’m getting rid of this bloody thing before you get any more daft ideas in your head!

FRED LUNGES FOR THE BAG AND THEY STRUGGLE FOR IT

FRED              Let me have it! It’s nowt to you! Give it ‘ere!

BOB                This is getting you daft as it is! You’ll be putting people on the bloody cross soon!

FRED              That’s blasphemy you git!

THE BAG BETWEEN THE TWO SPLITS OPEN, POURING SAND

EVERYWHERE

FRED              Look what you’ve done! You heathen!

BOB                It’s best for you!

FRED              I’m sick of your crap! You always mocked my beliefs!

BOB                Well stuff you then!

FRED              Fine!

FRED WALKS OFF THE WAY HE CAME

BOB                Fine!

BOB STARTS TO WALK OFF THE WAY HE CAME, THEN FRED WALKS

BACK ONTO STAGE

FRED              Err….See you at the bucket and dog at six right?

BOB TURNS BACK TO FRED

BOB                Of course, you owe me more than one pint!

THEY BOTH WALK OFF STAGE IN THEIR RESPECTIVE DIRECTIONS.

Incubus

A faint glimmer of consciousness is birthed into the abyss, twisting and turning, it coils in rage and anger at being taken from it’s peaceful state of nonexistence into the reality that is pain. It is hate, it is abhorrent, it’s vengeful glow burns brighter as the venomous spite courses through the entity’s existence. Madness claws the thoughts as the wild being is trapped between total nothingness and complete being. The growing expression screams as tears itself apart, clawing at its own vague and opaque form, shreds of itself burn hot and vicious. The consciousness, the idea, the being is trapped in a cyclone of self destruction, unable to fully destroy itself and unable to complete the transition into full life. The storm merely grows in fury and pain until something cracks. It pauses, waiting for itself to break when it realises the crack was from within, not in itself. Some light? An answer? It does not fathom but it seeps through and begins to know.

Jennifer’s eyes opened. She didn’t shoot awake or scream, she was not shaken to her very core or even worried.  It was just time to wake. Jennifer stretched in her bed, a slight perturbed feeling nagging the back of her mind, the half remembered images of her dream evaporating quickly as the consciousness of the daytime rose. The bed Jennifer lay in always felt too large, like her sleek frame was being engulfed in a monster made of comforting clothe and feathers.
The room was still mostly dark, the curtains, thick and heavy, were still drawn, pressing out most of the coming morn. Jennifer liked the darkness. It wasn’t that the light of the morning bothered her, she just felt at ease without it. The glowing red numbers of the alarm clock announced it was seven minutes past six am. Jennifer knew in just under eight minutes, the alarm would switch on. Jennifer also knew that in just under seven minutes she would turn it off before it has the chance to ring out. She hadn’t needed that alarm in over four years, but nevertheless, she would turn it back on before she went to sleep.

Jennifer shuffled over to the side of the bed and stood up. Her bare calves touching the side of the bed, the old wood beaten and marked by time and usage. The threadbare carpet comfortingly rough on the soles of her feet. The nightshirt Jennifer wore was draped on her body, ill fitting and loose, shimmied about her as she strode towards her closet and gazed at herself with a sigh. Jennifer knew she was losing weight, she also knew a lot of girls, hell, a lot of women would kill to just lose weight without trying, but she knew she was starting to look starved. Jennifer knew she meant to eat the right amount and did so, but could only find herself thinner every day.
Jennifer picked out a t-shirt, a buttoned shirt to wear open over the top and loose jeans to cover her disappearing self. She placed her choice that day’s clothes on a large menagerie of stuffed animals that were once loved and bought over bitterly and now laid in an uncared for mountain in the corner of her room. Jennifer reached the wooden drawers, switched off the alarm that rested atop and pulled a drawer to make a choice of panties, a bra, sadly, still not needed Jennifer thought as she considered her undeveloped chest.

 Jennifer bent to pull her panties on and came to eye contact with a photo in a gilded green frame. Two little blonde girls with long hair stood in front of their parents, a healthy looking couple, father looking to burst with pride to the camera with a cap on his head, mother as brilliantly blonde as her daughters looking at her husband.

What to do after You Die

And other Post-corporeal problems.

Please note that this book is intended for the dead or nearly dead or really really bored.

Life

 Life is something of a shock to us all. It comes on very quickly, without any warning and by the time you are full of life it’ll take another twelve or so months to realise what’s happened and that you are actually alive and not just some vague sensory input (although it is said this realisation never happens in London).  The problem with life is that no one ever asks for it, it is thrust upon us, much like duty or honour or gravy, except that you can politely decline a serving of duty or honour.

You are taken from your state of non-existence where you were once content with nothing, into life, where nothing will ever make you content. Some of the living across the corporeal planes try to get back to this existence of nothing by forgoing all needs and wants, this is of course nonsense and the only way mortals ever glimpse of the happiness they previously felt is by buying enormous amounts of useless stuff that they will never ever truly need.
But this is nonsense too.
Also some of the living hold onto the fact that death, or “suspension of existence” can only truly bring you contentment, this is just a lie the dead tell the living. This half-lie is called religion. Why it is a half-lie is something that for narrative purpose we shall come back too later.

The living fear death above all other things because it is their believed loss of existence that scares them the most. Any one living who claims to have no fear of death is either stupid, insane or both (or in some very rare cases the being may already be dead and hasn’t realised yet) If you have no fear of death please see a psychologist or a mortician.

The problem with being alive is that is comes with all sorts of prerequisites such as sunlight and air, its not enough to simply exist but take up space, consume and generally make a nuisance. This is a problem for those in sentient existence themselves and all the other living beings that have been blessed with lack of sentience.

Take John Smith. A man named with such an incredibly common name that he is he only person to own it and his incredibly lacklustre life. This man has just finished college with a bare pass at a carpeting GNVQ. 

Pain in the Arse

Alright Michael, The alarm is beeping, you know that if you stay in bed you’ll be groggy all day and you have a big job interview at lunch time. It’s best if you get up now.

Come on now, it’s no use pulling the covers over your head, I know they’re warm but they wont help you keep your apartment, let alone your girlfriend. Just get up, make yourself some breakfast and watch the news. That way, you’ll be awake and bright for everything.

Is it that time already?  I know it’s getting up time but it’s a bit early isn’t it? I mean if you get a couple of hours kip now, you’ll be better for it right mike? You know it’s right to sleep in, and If you get up and have breakfast you’ll only be putting on extra pounds that you know you should be losing. That’s right, just wrap yourself in your covers and it’ll be better, close your eyes and think about what you need to be doing later.

No. Come on, Stand up and go to the bathroom. I know sleeping seems like the nicest idea but you really need a piss and not even I can help with that. That right, once your done here clean your teeth, and remember to book a dentist appointment because you’ve got a hole back there and if you don’t get it looked at it’ll be a right pain.

Forget that hole, it’ll heal itself, you saw that on that documentary once right? And look down will you? Your too fat and your dick’s too small, phone a surgeon and get that sorted, it wont matter how much it costs because once you look sexy then you’ll get any job and any girl with big tits too. Oh and… Should you really be this hairy? You look like an untrimmed chimp.

Look in the mirror, See those blue eyes? Yeah everyone loves them. And that long hair, who couldn’t love a guy like you? Your perfect as you are. Don’t worry about superficial things though, it’s what’s inside that counts and by all accounts, you are a thoroughly lovely chap. I’d buy you a pint if I wasn’t on your shoulder.

Go on, get some decent clothes on. No not that crap, something trendy so someone will think you’re not a half-wit with the dress sense of an eighties horror reject. And since your up you might as well get some decent trough down you, How about a fry up? And the only thing cold in the fridge is beer and that’ll calm your nerves before the interview, one wont affect your driving.

I Hate My Job

1 EXT. ON M60 BRIDGE OVER MANCHESTER SHIP CANAL MID-DAY 1200

A man wearing entirely black apart from a yellow reflective jacket walks up the bridge towards a group of cars in disorder, some turned over, there are no moving cars and the scene is eerily quiet, it looks like the remains of a car crash yet there is no commotion and no noise apart from the sounds of a gentle breeze.

The MAN IN BLACK approaches the crash while all the people in the cars look at him with a mild curiosity, not at all bothered that the cars they are in damaged or overturned. The MAN IN BLACK approaches an overturned red car and quietly opens the doors, unbuckles the woman inside it and helps her out, her husband watches on, frowning slightly but the MAN IN BLACK kneels down to face him and simply shakes his head.

The MAN IN BLACK and the woman from the red car walk over to a coach with all it’s windows smashed, people on the inside watching casually, The MAN IN BLACK gets on the coach and takes an elderly couple off, he gets back on and nods to a teenager, who gets off too. The MAN IN BLACK pauses while on the coach and walks right to the back where he finds a scared little girl

MAN IN BLACK

It’s ok. Come with me.

The little girl nods, looking calmer and gets out of her seat, taking the MAN IN BLACK’s hand as they walk off the bus together.

The four passengers wait for the MAN IN BLACK as he sets off amongst the car wrecks while a raven flies over the cars, cawing loudly. The MAN IN BLACK helps a man out of a white SUV and returns to the group of people who all look at each other apprehensively.

There is a pause as the MAN IN BLACK looks to all the others quietly, looking them each in the face while they look at him and each other, then as one they follow the MAN IN BLACK down the slope towards the bottom of the bridge.

As they walk down, birds start to tweet and cars start to drive past on the opposite lane, very slowly and not a lot at first but the speed and amount increase over time.

The MAN IN BLACK stops and turns around to face the man from the white SUV.

MAN IN BLACK

You. Go back, you’re not ready yet.

The man nods and turns back, starting the ascent back to the car crash again. He reaches his car and climbs in, shutting the door and pulling his seat belt back on. Then the rest of the people following the MAN IN BLACK resume walking away and as they get further they start to fade away.

The car crash seems to resume life with all the noise and action going on like a normal car crash. There was people screaming and all the people who followed the MAN IN BLACK out are not moving and dead. There are police men, ambulances and fire-trucks all around causing a commotion.

The people next to their dead loved ones try to revive them and there is a mother at the back of a coach trying to resuscitate her little girl whose soul had already faded away.

MAN IN BLACK

I hate my job.

FADE TO BLACK.